Garden Update



Brennan’s garden

Originally uploaded by nonsonoitaliana

Worked in Brennan’s garden some yesterday (accompanied by a standing Amalia).

Lots of time to reflect on my own garden, on all the mistakes already made (new manure burning my seedlings), on all the plans already gone awry (melons and three kinds of beans and all kinds of flowers STILL waiting to be planted!). . . on my absolute inability to micromangae the growth and development of this dream of mine.

I never realized my need for control, my tendency towards perfection-ism, until Amalia’s birth. My journey since then, these past six months, has so much been about learning to let go a bit.

A good bit. But still just a bit. I mean, I am still ME.

So, my reflections are also on how in a few short months this funny garden of mine has changed my life, my relationship with my child, my community, my present and my future. How beautiful it is to me, not because of straight rows, lush growth or any such thing but rather because I am so completely in love with the process of it, the DOING of it.

And so there is no update, I’ve decided, because the list of what I have done is not nearly so important as the simple fact that I am often there doing what I can, being present and working, involving Amalia and making connections with the people and place that are mine, at least for now.

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One Response to “Garden Update”

  1. anna Says:

    i would propose that motherhood itself is loving the act of DOING as well. doing and then letting go. painstakingly making the sand mandala then letting the wind blow it away bit by bit.

    call me!!

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